all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize