My room smells like vodka and shame
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
