Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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