I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
