Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
