After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
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