that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
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