If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
you inspire me to be a worse person
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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