There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
