What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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