he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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