I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
