apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
