TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
