Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize