party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
