I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
