am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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