You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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