I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
