Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Randomize
