drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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