why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
