a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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