you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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