if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
