now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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