I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
