My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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