R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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