I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
