And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
We left an ass print on the piano.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Randomize