You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
