it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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