Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
