Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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