ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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