Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
