I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
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