apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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