I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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