coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
