You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
