She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
