Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Randomize
