I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
This baby is an asshole
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
