eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
