You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
