chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
