btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
