So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Panties = found
Randomize
