im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
