if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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