If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Randomize
