No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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