i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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