thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
