Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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