so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Randomize
