Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
