This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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