Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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